I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
