It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
