i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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