Just cropdusted the office
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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