R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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