He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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