first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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