Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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