I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
