Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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