I think i peed on brittanys purse
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
