Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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