If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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