So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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