he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
