Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
