I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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