And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize