I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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