oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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