Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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