Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
