The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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