How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
