I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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