I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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