yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
