thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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