Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
