i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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