If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
