Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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