The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
