I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
