New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
