"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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