My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
