Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she smelled like a LAN party
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
