Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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