absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
