If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
