My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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