You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
sarcasm needs its own font
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
