Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think my mom watched the whole time
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
