the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
