you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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