Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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