my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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