Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
