I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Randomize
