Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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