Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
