Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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