Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
