The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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