I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
