Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
